Hello everybody! We have a gorgeous letter to grief to share with you today, courtesy of Julia, also known as @wise_whimsy on Instagram. Her letter to grief truly blew us away. Her writing is so raw and real, it speaks directly to our grieving hearts. It acknowledges some of the biggest challenges of grief while also providing some inspiration and hope for this life with loss.
She was in a Life After Loss workshop when she was given the journaling prompt to write a letter to grief, inviting grief to walk beside her through life. Julia’s writing in response to this prompt is truly incredible! We’re sure many will be able to relate to her writing. While acknowledging the hardships, she also covers some of the good ways that our grief is truly there for us in our lives with loss. She does it in such a beautiful way that it truly inspires one to find something to be grateful for in grief.
If being grateful to grief seems counter-intuitive right now, maybe this writing will change that, or at least introduce a new perspective. So without further ado, here is her thought-provoking and awe-inspiring letter inviting grief to walk beside her through life.
Dear Grief,
You and I have been through a lot together. You’ve shown up many times for me, especially in the last few years. I was not prepared for a lot of those times, and you often showed up sooner than I expected.
One loss after another, then another, then another… is overwhelming. Especially when society, work, life, expects me to just keep moving and pushing through. Showing up is rarely seen as “enough” by people who are not acquainted with you.
When people have turned their backs on me in the aftermath of loss after loss after loss, you are the one who has stayed right here with me.
You rarely get the credit you deserve. You are there to remind me what is important to ME – and maybe what no longer needs to be important. I suppose you are trying to fill the holes that are left when people, pets, and other aspects of my life are gone.
I’d like to invite you to stay beside me because you seem to always have my back. You do not deserve to be pushed away or be put on the back burner, despite what society expects.
You are part of who I am – and that becomes clearer every day. You remind me when I need to slow down. You alert me when something doesn’t feel quite right. You have given me the strength and power to stick up for myself and to stand up for what I know is right. Because of you, I’ve learned to embrace my own truth and to honor that truth.
You’ve shown me who is safe and valuable in my life. You’ve helped me decide what serves me and what doesn’t – and you have a knack for assuring me that I’m making the right choice.
Grief, you have become an integral part of who I am. To embrace you is to accept my whole self.
You remind me to appreciate impermanence – to be mindful of what I have, but to not get too comfortable with it. When I’m stuck in a miserable situation, you remind me that this is also impermanent and things will get better.
You point me in directions that fuel my creativity and you seem to always know when I need to rest. I’m becoming better at listening to these reminders.
Of COURSE you deserve to stay at my side. You are on my side. You assist me with helping others because I can relate and empathize with others while they are dealing with their own losses.
We can do amazing things together!
Thank you for all you have taught (and continue to teach) me – and especially for being a part of who I am.
xoxo
Julia
Thank you so much Julia for allowing us to share this! You inspire us to say, “Thank you, grief.”
We’ve worked on finding things to be grateful for in our grief. The overwhelm that Julia mentioned has helped us learn some valuable stress management lessons. The societal expectation to “get over” or “push through” grief taught us to disregard expectations and just do what we know works in our best interest. We have been grateful to these lessons that grief taught us, but we never thought about thanking our grief itself for teaching us these lessons.
We never thought about thanking our grief directly, let alone asking it to walk beside us. But Julia is right, our grief is there for us. Grief doesn’t necessarily have to work against us. Yes, it hurts and is overwhelming and confusing sometimes, but just think about all the wonderful benefits Julia mentioned! Learning to accept when to rest, fueling creativity, being mindful of impermanence, self-assurance and confidence in making choices about what we allow in our lives and learning lessons about our truest selves; these are all lessons that we relate to have personally learned through our grief. But Julia is right; grief taught us these things, and grief deserves the credit and thanks for being there for us and teaching these lessons.
She really opened our minds to this idea that grief does offer value, and does deserve to be embraced and thanked for its benefits. Grief is not something to lock away in a closet, it is something to learn from. It is a part of us now, and it is nothing to be ashamed of; it is something to embrace.
So, as Julia has inspired us to say, thank you grief!
And thank you Julia for sharing this wise, relatable and inspiring piece of writing. There are so many valuable lessons packed away in just this one post, and you generously share even more on your Instagram page @wise_whimsy! You are truly a light and beckon of hope for new grievers out there, and I thank you on behalf of grievers everywhere for sharing your wisdom.
Aloha and gratitude,
Jay and Shell
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