Hi everyone! Today’s guest blog post is from another Instagram account we follow from our account (If you don’t already know, we have an Instagram account @jayandshellsjourney). One of my favorite accounts graciously allowed us to share her gorgeous writing with you! She is @teengriefsupport on Instagram, and she’s a grieving teen like me. This beautiful soul started her Instagram account @teengriefsupport to help other teens experiencing grief; I highly recommend checking it out!
I was so ecstatic when I found her page for the first time! She posts a lot of relatable quotes, talks about her experience with grief, and provides helpful tips and tricks. She generously let us post this touching and helpful post about dealing with the holidays. Posts like this grow more and more necessary as the holidays grow near; they’re practically already here, with how many decorations and holiday commercials surround us.
Thank you so much for writing this @teengriefsupport. Your writing is helping so many, especially new grievers!
Grieving During the Holiday Season
An empty chair at Thanksgiving dinner. A lack of presents on Christmas morning…It’s overwhelming. Sometimes, I wish I could hibernate like bears do. How nice does it sound to be able to shy away from everyone until the holidays are over?
Holiday season approaches yearly. It’s no surprise. But despite knowing that it will come around again, it doesn’t stop the dread. Should I keep the same old traditions? Should I modify them? Should I not celebrate the holidays at all? The truth is all three are perfectly acceptable!
One option is to keep the same old traditions. For most holidays, I like to keep them the same as they were before my loss because it helps establish some “normalcy.” When my world flipped upside down, I just wanted to find something that I felt familiar with and that was the holidays. So, while there is an empty presence and lingering sadness in the air, there is also a much-needed blanket of familiarity I get to be wrapped up in for just a small period of time.
Another option is to modify traditions. You can change them to memorialize your loved one. Play their favorite game, listen to their favorite music, and/or hang an ornament with their picture up. On the other hand, you can take out traditions that remind you of your loved one too much. It’s okay to not do as much, especially when you’re dealing with the heavy load that is grief.
Also, there is always the option to not celebrate the holidays at all! It may feel a bit odd at first, but it is all up to you. Hot cocoa, blankets, and movie night sounds great regardless of if it’s holiday-related or not. Do something for yourself in the name of self-care and call it a day. Maybe do an act of kindness for someone or volunteer your time out. Maybe just stay home and do what you enjoy. It’s up to you. Never feel pressured to celebrate when you’re not up for it. Set boundaries with family members with what you expect out of the holidays. Remember your health (physical, mental, and emotional) are all important and shouldn’t be risked for the sake of others.
Regardless of what you decide to do this holiday season, know that your feelings and choice are valid. Nothing will happen if that Thanksgiving turkey doesn’t make an appearance this year or if the Christmas tree never makes it out of the attic. It will be okay, even when okay is that last word I like to use when referencing grief. Nothing about celebrating holidays without your loved one feels okay. But keeping tradition, changing up the tradition, and even not celebrating traditions IS okay. You’re not alone in entering this holiday season with hopes for it to end. Sometimes we just want to hibernate like the bears and that’s understandable. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Wishing a bearable holiday season for everyone and hoping it is the best it can be.
With love,
@teensgriefsupport
Wow, I told you all that she is helpful! There’s something reassuring about seeing your options laid out in front of you. And she’s absolutely right; whatever you do this holiday season is valid. It’s YOUR holiday, no one else’s! Thank you @teengriefsupport for summing it all up so beautifully and organized in this post. I know there’s been times where I have wanted to be a hibernating bear.
If you are a grieving teen or know a grieving teen, I HIGHLY recommend checking out her account on Instagram, as it’s filled with more helpful nuggets such as this. Not only is she sharing her words of wisdom, but they mean even more because they are coming from another grieving teenager! There’s something special about knowing she understands the unique struggle of being a grieving teen in this day and age. We are both dealing with the same thing right now. Of course, our grief is a little different, grief is unique to every individual, but we can connect and relate to each other in a rare way that varies per generation. Plus, as of right now, she is open to DMs if you want to talk to someone who gets it!
Thank you @teengriefsupport for sharing your voice and wisdom. I know your words are so beneficial to so many people, as I am one of them. Keep shining your light, as you are undoubtedly lighting the way for so many new grievers who are navigating their loss.
Aloha and gratitude,
Jay and Shell
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